Whilst I generally tend to keep my love life off the public internet, one of the (many) reasons I moved to London was to move on from my first big heartbreak. What better way to do so than by travelling and being surrounded by hot British, and other, accents!
For any single man or woman who has moved to London from elsewhere in the UK or around the world, they will agree that dating in London is ridiculously hard. For some reason you’ve found yourself on my blog. Firstly, welcome! And secondly, my non-expert, but relatively experienced (as in I’ve been on a date or two), self has some advice for those frustrated with the dating culture here.
Coming from Australia where men who were interested would generally approach a woman, or have a wing man distract their friends, London was completely new to me and came with a completely different set of rules.
Other than the usual drunk man in a club slurring loud words together, it was rare to be approached by anyone in London when I was out, except by Australians and Kiwis. When I asked my British friends about this they put it down to the culture. Just like my experience with making new friends, meeting men was not really going to happen in London in person unless I was one of the few who met through friends or actually spoke to someone after our encounter in a bar or club. When talking to a group of girls, all in relationships, about how they all met their significant others, I was shocked to realise every person had met theirs online initially. In fact, for them it was a shock if someone had met theirs in person.
Luckily there’s plenty of choice; Tinder, Bumble, Ok Cupid, Grindr and more. Every person will have their say on which is their favourite and why, and each will also have their own horror story (or ten) of the people they’ve met. It depends on your preferences, and mine might be different to yours.
So essentially dating has become a big online self marketing system. You’ve got to vibe over text (not my greatest attribute), stand out in around 100-200 characters and have photos that look hot/sexy/dateable but also not too edited. The swipe culture is rough, but I do have a few tips for those who have decided to go through that:
Firstly, turn off your notifications. Yes it’s great to talk to guys who are giving you the attention you damn well deserve, but don’t let it take over your life! Be happy with yourself and your life, and when you are ready spend some time looking every now and again.
Next, safety people! Don’t go to some strangers house. Sounds obvious but not to everyone. Meet in a pub or somewhere casual, and public, where you have an easy exit strategy in case he or she cray.
Thirdly, if he/she doesn’t work for it, they don’t deserve it! We live in the time of ‘ghosting’ and ‘gaslighting’ and other terms that age me at least 30 years. If they don’t seem interested, don’t work twice as hard. For somewhere like London, there are actually millions of other fish in the sea who are willing to give you what you deserve!
Happy dating lovers!